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Matthew 5:27-32 (Adultery and divorce)

INTRODUCTION: We are continuing our series on the Sermon on the Mount and we are in the middle of a section where Jesus is revealing the true meaning behind various parts of the Old Testament law. He speaks first about 1) murder (21-26), then 2) adultery and divorce (27-32), then 3) oaths (33-37), and 4) revenge (38-48). Jesus said in order to enter heaven you must have a righteousness that exceeds the Pharisees and teachers of the law. Now in each of these cases he shows us what that surpassing righteousness looks like. Last week we looked at the real meaning of murder, and today we will look at the real meaning of adultery and divorce. (Read Matthew 5:27-32 and pray.)

Today’s message is called “How to Ruin Your Love Life” and although the title is tongue-in-cheek, this is a difficult passage for many of us. It is a difficult passage, because when it comes to adultery and divorce, this is an area of hurt and failure that is a part of our history. There is no better way to ruin your love life than through adultery and divorce, and sadly too many of us know the hurt of these things only too well.

So before we even begin this message, I want to remind you of God’s grace and forgiveness in this area. Whether this is a painful part of your past or you are struggling with this right now in the present, I want you to know from the start that God’s grace and forgiveness is there for you. God loves you, he is bigger than your sins, and he is able to redeem the hurt and the pain even of adultery and divorce.

God doesn’t want to ruin your love life. God wants to bless your love life. Sexuality is a good gift from God. However, like all things it is only good within its proper context. And according to God’s word, the only proper context for sexual activity is within the marriage covenant between a man and a woman. Sex within marriage is like the fire in the fireplace. Keep it in the fireplace, and it keeps the home safe and warm. Let it out of the fireplace, and it causes untold damage to everyone in its path.

I. The real meaning of adultery (27-30)

So let’s begin with our passage. Jesus is talking about the real meaning of adultery and divorce, and he begins by talking about adultery. Look at verse 27 with me: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’” (Matthew 5:27) The command against adultery is the seventh of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 2014: and Deuteronomy 5:18), and Jesus quotes it here word for word. Apparently the Pharisees and teachers of the law were quoting it word for word as well, but they were still not teaching it correctly.

Adultery is technically any sexual immorality that violates the marriage covenant, whether the wife commits adultery against the husband, or the husband commits adultery against the wife. But the common teaching of the day was that you could only commit adultery against the husband. So if a woman cheated on her husband, she was committing adultery against him. But if a man cheated on his wife with another man’s wife, he was not committing adultery against his wife, but against the other woman’s husband. And if he cheated on his wife with an unmarried woman, then he wasn’t committing adultery at all, because there was no other married man involved.

Of course this was a horrible double standard. It twisted the original meaning of the command to give the husband a loophole, so he could be unfaithful to his wife and still say he had not committed adultery.

   A. Lust – the attitude behind the act (Matthew 15:19; 2 Peter 2:14)

Well, Jesus not only brings us back to the correct meaning of adultery, he also takes us deeper into the commandment. Look at verses 27 and 28 together now: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

This is another one of Jesus’ You have heard that it was said … But I tell you’s in this section, and remember the “But I tell you” part always gives you Jesus’ authoritative word on the matter. Jesus looks at the attitude behind the act and says it is not just the physical act of sex that constitutes adultery but also the lustful look.

Once again Jesus moves beyond the physical act to the attitude of the heart. Just as you can murder with your words, you can also commit adultery with your heart. Jesus said in Matthew 15:19: “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” (Matthew 15:19) The Pharisees were so wrapped up in legalities and technicalities, they forgot about the most important part when it comes to following God which is the attitude of your heart.

Now if looking lustfully at another person constitutes the sin of adultery, it is important to understand what Jesus meant and what Jesus did not mean by the lustful look. The words Jesus uses do not describe a casual glance, but rather an intentional look, a conscious deliberate stare.

It’s often said, nobody can prevent the first look, but you always have a choice with the second. It’s a big difference, because it is the difference between temptation and sin. I like what Martin Luther said about temptation and sin. He said you can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building a nest in your hair! Jesus warns against the second look that looks in order to lust.

We should also note that there is a difference between noticing or appreciating a beautiful person and lusting after them in your heart. There are some beautiful women and some handsome men out there, and there is nothing wrong with saying: “What a beautiful woman!” or “What a handsome man!” God created beauty, and he wants you to appreciate it. But the moment you begin to think sexually about the other person, you have crossed the line. When you take that second look and start feeding it to your imagination, you are committing adultery in your heart.

I might add that if it is wrong to look lustfully at another person, then it is just as wrong to dress in such a way to invite someone to look lustfully at you. There is a difference between dressing attractively and dressing seductively. Women and men both know the difference.

2 Peter 2:14 gives the following description of the wicked: “With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning.” (2 Peter 2:14) Lust is wrong, because you are no longer loving the other person but using them. Lust seeks to master and conquer, while love seeks to serve.

One more thing before we move on. Be careful you don’t use a verse like this as an excuse for further sin. Someone might reason: “Well, I’ve already committed adultery in my heart anyways. I might as well go ahead and commit adultery in the flesh!” First of all, we would never think this way with anger and murder as we looked at last week. We would never say, “Well, I just called that person an idiot anyways. I might as well go ahead and murder them!” Secondly, you don’t want to compound one sin with another. And then thirdly, although adultery in the heart and adultery in the flesh are both equally sin, adultery in the flesh will have greater and more far-reaching consequences in your life and the life of others than adultery in the heart. Don’t go there.

   B. Response – extreme measures: get rid of anything that causes you to sin (Colossians 3:5-6)

So what should your response be if you are struggling with lust? Jesus tells you to take extreme measures to get rid of anything that causes you to sin. Take a look at verses 29-30: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Matthew 5:29-30)

Jesus does not mince words here. His words were shocking to those who first heard them, even as they are shocking to us today. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out! If your right hand causes, you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! How’s that for pastoral counsel? Jesus speaks of the eye here because it is the instrument of lusting, and he probably speaks of the hand here because it is the instrument of stealing. Adultery is a form of theft because when you lust after another person you are taking something that does not belong to you. Jesus speaks of the right eye and the right hand here, because they would have been considered the most dear to the person.

So does Jesus really want you to cut off body parts? Of course not. We must balance this teaching with other Scriptures that tell us to take care of our bodies. Jesus is using a dramatic word picture to make a point. He is saying you must deal drastically with sin. You must use extreme measures and get rid of anything that causes you to sin. Whatever the cost – whether it is the movies you watch, the friends you hang out with, someone at work, a boy or girlfriend – if it causes you to sin, Jesus says get rid of it. You must be utterly ruthless when it comes to rooting out sin.

Why does Jesus tell you to deal so radically with sin? One very simple reason – because sin leads to hell. We read the same thing in Colossians 3:5-6: “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.” (Colossians 3:5-6) The wrath of God is coming, so you must put these things to death. Sin leads to hell, so you must deal ruthlessly with it. Or as the preacher John Owen so famously put it: “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

Now back to our verses in Matthew 5:29-30. What Jesus says in these verses is completely true. It would be better to lose your eye or your hand in this life than to lose your whole body in hell, if that would really do the trick. But getting rid of body parts isn’t going to help you, because the real problem is not your eye or your hand but your heart. You need to guard against anything that would turn your heart from Jesus. And so just like the hiker who amputated his own arm in order to escape the rock on the cliff, we must take extreme measures to get rid of anything in our lives that causes us to sin. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “No sacrifice is too great if it enables us to conquer a lust which cuts us off from Jesus.”

What is the real meaning of adultery? It begins in the mind and the heart. The sin of adultery is committed by lust in the heart long before any physical act takes place. Keep your eyes on Jesus, and you will not look lustfully at another.

II. The real meaning of divorce (31-32)
      – see Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 19:3-9

And then Jesus moves on from the real meaning of adultery to the real meaning of divorce. The two are connected because adultery can lead to divorce and, as Jesus will show, divorce can lead to adultery. Look at verses 31-32: “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)

God never approved of divorce in the Old Testament, although he recognized that divorce took place, and so he gave instructions to regulate it, particularly in order to protect the woman. One of those protections was the certificate of divorce.

The certificate of divorce is mentioned seven times in the Bible (Deuteronomy 24:1,3; Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:8; Matthew 5:31, 19:7; Mark 10:4), and the certificate had to do three things: 1) it stated the reasons for the divorce, 2) it made financial provision for the woman, and 3) it granted her freedom to remarry (ISBE, Vol I, p.975). Once a man divorced his wife, if she married another person, the first husband could never marry her again. According to Jewish law only the husband could divorce the wife, although in Roman law the wife could also divorce the husband.

So what does Jesus say about all this? Let me share with you four principles Jesus taught in explaining the real meaning of divorce.

   A. What God joins together, let man not separate.

First of all, what God joins together, let man not separate. It is God who joins the husband and wife together in marriage, and so only God can truly dissolve the marriage. “What God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

   B. A certificate does not necessarily mean you are divorced.

Secondly, a certificate does not necessarily mean you are divorced. The Pharisees and teachers of the law taught that the certificate of divorce ended the marriage. Jesus says not necessarily so. Jesus raises the frightening prospect that you are divorced in paper only but not in God’s eyes. Remember, God is the one who joins together in marriage. Therefore only God can separate.

   C. Divorce is permitted but not commanded after adultery.

Thirdly, divorce is permitted but not commanded after adultery. The rabbis of Jesus’ time were engaged in various debates over what constituted legal grounds for divorce. Some said only in case of adultery, while others taught that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason. And they listed some of the reasons: if your wife had poor posture or if she burned your dinner, you could divorce her. One rabbi even said if she had a head that was shaped like a wedge, a hammer or a turnip, that was grounds for divorce.

Well, Jesus will have none of that. The only exception Jesus raises here is for marital unfaithfulness. There are other circumstances where it would be wise to separate in order to protect a spouse or children, but the only exception Jesus allows here is for marital unfaithfulness. Otherwise, even with a certificate of divorce, you are still married in God’s eyes. The marriage bond lasts until your partner dies or until your partner breaks the marriage by adultery followed by divorce. Marriages are made in heaven, and God does not believe in no fault divorce.

So what happens if you marry a new spouse when you are still married to your old spouse in God’s eyes? You commit adultery, and so does the new spouse who marries you.

Now many of us have done this. We divorced for reasons other than adultery, and then we remarried. Does that mean we are still committing adultery in our new marriage? I don’t believe so. I believe Jesus is speaking about an initial act of adultery at the time of remarriage rather than a continuing state of adultery within the new marriage. If you are remarried, then no matter how it came about, this is your new marriage and God calls you to be faithful to your current spouse.

   D. We should always work towards reconciliation.

And then finally, we should always work towards reconciliation. Pastor and theologian John Stott shares: “I have made the rule never to speak with anybody about divorce, until I have first spoken with him (or her) about two other subjects, namely marriage and reconciliation.” Remember, divorce in case of adultery is permitted, but it is not commanded. The emphasis in the Scriptures is always on repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration. Following Christ means doing everything you can to preserve your marriage.

CONCLUSION: I would like to close this morning with a threefold statement on marriage followed by three application points. First the threefold statement: Marriage is a lifelong commitment of sexual faithfulness. Adultery breaks the commitment of sexual faithfulness. Divorce breaks the commitment of lifelong faithfulness. Therefore:

   1) Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23; Psalm 119:9)

Application point #1: Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) Sin starts in the heart and works its way outwards. No one ever committed sexual sin who did not decide to do it in their heart first.

So how do you guard your heart? Psalm 119:9 tells us: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” (Psalm 119:9) Knowing and reading God’s Word is essential to guarding your heart.

I have a friend who memorized this verse and whenever he saw a woman and was tempted to take that second look, he would actually say this verse out loud: “How can a young man keep his way pure?” Then he would throw his arm up in front of his face and “By guarding it according to your word!” If only we would all be so vigilant! That’s just how much he loved Jesus.

   2) Watch your eyes (Job 31:1; Psalm 101:3)

So number one: guard your heart. Number two: watch your eyes. Job said in Job 31:1: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” (Job 31:1) Men, have you made that covenant today? Women, have you made a similar covenant in your own life?

When our kids were growing up we had a Bible verse prominently displayed on the top of the television set – Psalm 101:3: “I will set before my eyes no vile thing.” (Psalm 101:3) That’s a great verse to put on your television or your computer screen at home. One of the ways you guard your heart is to watch your eyes.

   3) Honor your marriage (Malachi 2:15-16)

And then finally, honor your marriage. God says in Malachi 2: “Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.” (Malachi 2:15-16)

Honor your marriage, honor your marriage vows, love and forgive one another, work towards reconciliation. God hates divorce, but he does not hate divorced people. We have all committed adultery in our hearts, and we are all in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. Praise God he offers us that forgiveness through Jesus Christ His Son.

© Ray Fowler

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