You know it’s Monday when …

your valentine comes addressed to occupant.

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Click on a month for more Garfield Mondays:  January, February, March,
    April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Click here for Real Life Garfield.
Click here for Garfield Monday Extra.

Check back the first Monday of each month for more Garfield Mondays.

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Related posts:

• Philosophy Lessons from the Movie Groundhog Day
• Somebody Shoot the Groundhog (one of my crankier posts)

“Once again the eyes of the nation have turned here to this … tiny village in western Pennsylvania. Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla! There is no way … that this winter … is ever going to end … as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow! I dont see any other way out. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.” (Phil Connors/Bill Murray, “Groundhog Day”)

Update: Wouldn’t you know it? The rascally rodent saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. Say it isn’t so, Phil!

This was a promotion by a new radio station in Glasgow City Centre, Scotland.

Link: directdaily

Well, I am not a big fan of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s politics (as you can see by the results of my MPR Select a Candidate Quiz), but she got a good laugh out of me with these “in-flight announcements” she made to the guests and reporters on her new campaign plane as it made its first journey on Wednesday.

“My name is Hillary, and I’m so pleased to have most of you on board.”

“FAA regulations prohibit the use of cell phones, blackberries or other wireless devices that may be used to transmit negative stories about me.”

She warned her guests — a couple of dozen reporters, members of her Secret Service detail and several aides — to keep their seatbelts on even after the light had been turned off. “Things can get awfully bumpy when you least expect it.”

“In the event of an unexpected drop in poll numbers this plane will be diverted to New Hampshire.”

Clinton then promised to deliver her “stump speech, in its many variations,” as in-flight entertainment. “We know you have choices when you fly, so we are grateful you chose the plane with the most experienced candidate.”

Related posts:

• The Hillary Clinton Cookie Attack Ad
• The MPR Select a Candidate Quiz

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” (Proverbs 24:26)

Okay, this TV ad featuring an honest referee is my new favorite football commercial, at least until the Super Bowl gets here! This is part of Subway’s “Fresh Moment” advertising campaign. And you have to admit, such honesty really is refreshing!

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“I totally blew that call. In fact, I wasn’t even close. But don’t worry. I’ll penalize the other team … for no good reason … in the second half … to even things up.”

You know it’s Monday when …

your down vest meets its former owner.

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Click on a month for more Garfield Mondays:  January, February, March,
    April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Click here for Real Life Garfield.
Click here for Garfield Monday Extra.

Check back the first Monday of each month for more Garfield Mondays.

Can you identify the five Christmas trees in the photos below? You will find the answers at the end of the post. And the grand prize for guessing all five trees correctly is   —   a nice, warm, fuzzy Christmas feeling all day long. Tell us how you did in the comments below.

Christmas Tree #1:

Christmas Tree #2:

Christmas Tree #3:

Christmas Tree #4:

Christmas Tree #5:

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Fred R. Shapiro, the editor of The Yale Book of Quotations, has compiled a list of the Ten Most Memorable Quotes for 2007. Shapiro clarifies: “I’m not listing the most admirable quotes, the most eloquent quotes. It’s the most memorable quotes.” Be careful what you say in 2008. The words you speak may follow you around for a long time.

Top 10 Most Memorable Quotes for 2007

1. “Don’t tase me, bro!” (September 17, 2007) — College student Andrew Meyer shouted out these words as officers removed him from a speech by Senator John Kerry at the University of Florida. Meyer’s words have since become a catch phrase around the nation, appearing on t-shirts and even recorded as ringtones.
    
2. “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” (August 24, 2007) — South Carolina beauty contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton became a YouTube phenomenon after she gave this rather disjointed response at the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant. She was answering a question about why one-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a map. Here is the video:


 

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1. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went “Aaaaahhhh …”
2. I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”
3. Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
4. I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time.” So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
5. You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
6. I got a garage door opener. It can’t close. Just open.
7. I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
8. I installed a skylight in my apartment … The people who live above me are furious!
9. I had to stop driving my car for a while … the tires got dizzy.
10. I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

Other Posts in the Series:

• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (1)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (2)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (3)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (4)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (5)

Okay, this is just silly.

HT: The Presurfer

Anyone speak German who can tell us what this is all about?

HT: Neatorama

I got a kick out of this joke Black Friday* ad. You won’t find me shopping on Friday. I will be hanging out at home with Rose and the boys (after breakfast at Cracker Barrel, of course).

Black Friday Special! Flat-Screen HD Television with FREE Nintendo Wii Remote. $99.99. Minimum 10,000 per store. No rainchecks. Make and model of television may vary. Wii remote may or may not include wriststrap.

HT: Woot

*Black Friday (the Day after Thanksgiving) is traditionally the start of the Christmas shopping season. The term, traced to the 1970s, is now widely agreed to symbolize the turning point for most retailers (when profits go “into the black”). Black Friday is often called the busiest shopping day of the year, though only twice in the last few decades (2003 and 2005) did it actually beat the Saturday before Christmas for that record … in the United States, anyway.