Hillary Clinton In-Flight Announcements

Well, I am not a big fan of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s politics (as you can see by the results of my MPR Select a Candidate Quiz), but she got a good laugh out of me with these “in-flight announcements” she made to the guests and reporters on her new campaign plane as it made its first journey on Wednesday.

“My name is Hillary, and I’m so pleased to have most of you on board.”

“FAA regulations prohibit the use of cell phones, blackberries or other wireless devices that may be used to transmit negative stories about me.”

She warned her guests — a couple of dozen reporters, members of her Secret Service detail and several aides — to keep their seatbelts on even after the light had been turned off. “Things can get awfully bumpy when you least expect it.”

“In the event of an unexpected drop in poll numbers this plane will be diverted to New Hampshire.”

Clinton then promised to deliver her “stump speech, in its many variations,” as in-flight entertainment. “We know you have choices when you fly, so we are grateful you chose the plane with the most experienced candidate.”

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