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Matthew 18:15-20 (Church discipline)

INTRODUCTION: Our message series is called “Jesus, the Master Teacher,” and we are looking at a series of Jesus’ teachings found in Matthew 18-20. Last week we looked at the parable of the lost sheep, where we saw that God seeks after the wandering believer, and so should we. But there is a right way and a wrong way to seek the wanderer, so Jesus gives us the best way to approach this. (Read Matthew 18:15-17 and pray.)

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Our passage today raises the question: when someone sins in the body of Christ, how should you respond? There are four basic ways that churches respond to known sin in their midst. The first is indifference. This is when the church says things like, “We can’t be judgmental. We all sin. It’s none of my business. It’s a person’s private life.” However, this response is not loving, and it is not scriptural. A second way is self-righteousness. This is when the church responds with an air of superiority or a judgmental attitude. That’s not good either. A third way a church responds is with malice, by spreading gossip or slander about the person. Obviously, that’s no good. And then the fourth way is the way Jesus outlines for us in this passage – when a church responds with loving concern and a desire to restore the brother or sister.

You might wonder, why don’t we take the restore path more often? Well, because it involves something very uncomfortable – confrontation. You cannot restore without confronting, and we don’t like confronting other people. But the church is in trouble when it will neither confess nor confront sin, and so Jesus gives us these instructions on what to do when a fellow believer sins, and specifically when they sin against you!

So, how are we supposed to deal with sin in the church? What should you do if your brother, or sister, sins? Let us look at our text and see what we can learn.

I. Follow the process (15-17)

First, you need to follow the process which Jesus lays out for us in verses 15-17. There are four steps in this process, and those four steps need to be taken in order.

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

   A. Go and show: “just between the two of you” (15)
      – Proverbs 19:11; John 16:8; Galatians 6:1

The first step is to go and show. Look at verse 15:

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Matthew 18:15)

Notice Jesus calls this person your brother. In other words, we have a family relationship within the body of Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. We share the same heavenly Father. It’s bad enough when friends separate; how much worse when brothers or sisters don’t get along.

Now, we need to practice discernment and balance this instruction out with other Scriptures. For example, Proverbs 19:11 says: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11) And so, Jesus is not speaking about small matters or offenses here, which we can and should overlook. Rather, he is talking about serious or repeated sin, where there is either a breach in the relationship, or the person is causing damage to their Christian testimony, or their sin is holding them back from spiritual growth.

Jesus says when that’s the case, you go. You take the initiative. Don’t wait for them to come to you. You go. Don’t go to nitpick. Don’t go to vent or dump. Don’t go to spew out angry or bitter words. Jesus says, “Go and show them their fault.” The word translated “show them their fault” here is a word that means “bring to light.” Jesus uses the same word in John 16:8 when he speaks of the Holy Spirit bringing conviction of sin (John 16:8) So, Jesus is saying go and shine the light of God’s Word on the situation and allow the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin.

How should you go? What should your manner be? Galatians 6:1 says: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1) And so, we should go in a spirit of gentleness and humility, realizing that we also are sinful, but our brother needs our loving correction.

Notice Jesus says this first step is “between you and him alone.” What an important instruction! We usually tell everyone but the person involved! But Jesus says, “Go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.”

Why is privacy so important in this step? For several reasons. First, you give the person an opportunity to explain. Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding. You give the person the benefit of the doubt. Secondly, if it’s a private matter, then it’s nobody else’s business. Hopefully you can settle it between two of you. And then thirdly, there is no need to spread dirty laundry around. It only hurts the cause of Christ and the witness of the church.

So, if someone comes to you complaining how someone else in the church has hurt or offended them, your first question should be, “Have you talked with them?” Jesus says we are responsible for our own person-to-person relationships within the body of Christ.

The good news is that when you follow Jesus’ process, this first step is often the last. Jesus says, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” That’s the whole purpose of this process – to win your brother or sister back, not to lose them, to be reconciled, for them to be restored to fellowship and service to the Lord.

So that’s the first step: go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens, you have won him over, which is the whole goal anyways.

   B. Take with you: “one or two others” (16)
      – Deuteronomy 19:15

But what if he or she doesn’t listen? Then you move on to step number two. Look at verse 16 where Jesus says:

“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’” (Matthew 18:16)

If he will not listen, that is, if there is no repentance or acknowledgement of sin, then you take a step further. Jesus says take with you one or two more.

Why do we take others with us? Once again, for several reasons. First of all, it takes the whole situation to a new level of seriousness. It says this is an important matter that needs to be addressed. Notice that those you bring with you join in the effort of reaching out to the wanderer. Jesus says, “If the person will not listen to them.” They are not just bystanders, but they join with you in showing the offending brother his fault.

They are also there as witnesses, not so much witnesses of the wrongs committed but witnesses of the person’s attitude when confronted. This is preparatory for the next step if the person is still unrepentant. It was an Old Testament principle that every matter must be established by two or three witnesses. (Deuteronomy 19:15) This was necessary to guard against gossip or rumors. Jesus emphasizes the importance of witnesses to firmly establish the matter at hand – which is primarily the repentance or lack of repentance of the person confronted.

Notice how important it is to keep the circle tight here. Only two or three witnesses are required. We shouldn’t be legalistic with this in that no more than three should ever go. But the principle here is that no more should be involved than absolutely necessary.

Who should you pick to go? Someone spiritually mature, perhaps a close friend, certainly someone whom the person knows, trusts and respects. Once again, if he or she listens at this point, you have won them over.

   C. Tell it to the church: get leadership involved (17a)
      – 1 Timothy 5:19-20

But if they still won’t listen, then you go to the third step. Jesus says in verse 17:

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.” (Matthew 18:17a)

The phrase “refuses to listen” in this verse is an interesting one. It literally means “one who listens to the side.” You can just picture the person turning their head, ignoring what is said. Jesus says, “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.”

Now, very important here. “Tell it to the church” does not mean you send out a mass email to everyone or post it on the church Facebook page. No, it means you bring it to the church leadership. The word “church” simply means assembly, but it can also designate the leadership of the assembly.

Now is the right time to go to your pastor. You’ve tried to settle it yourself. You’ve brought two or three witnesses along who can confirm the issue. Now the pastor or pastors can go the person and try to work things out.

Now the pastors may or may not make the issue public to the whole church. In most cases they won’t because that would not be appropriate. However, there are times when the church does need to make it public, for example, when it is a church leader who has sinned. We read in 1 Timothy 5: “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. 20 Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.” (1 Timothy 5:19-20)

   D. Treat as a non-believer: the goal is repentance and restoration (17b)
      – 1 Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Corinthians 2:6-8; 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15; 1 Timothy 5:20

So, you’ve confronted the person yourself. You’ve brought two or three witnesses along. You’ve brought it to the pastor. What if the person still doesn’t listen, even to the pastor? Jesus says in the second part of verse 17:

“If he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:17b)

A pagan was someone outside the Christian faith. The tax-collector represents someone who is outside the fellowship. So, Jesus is saying here that when a brother or sister sins and refuses to repent even when you have gone through all these steps, you should no longer treat them as a Christian but as a non-believer, as someone outside the church.

Now, does this mean you should be mean to them? Of course not! I hope you’re not mean to your non-Christian friends! But it would certainly mean removal from church membership and a withdrawing from Christian fellowship.

The important thing to notice here is that without repentance, forgiveness is withheld. We sometimes get a fuzzy idea of forgiveness, that we should forgive all people at all times for all manner of offences, regardless of their attitude. But Jesus forbids the church from forgiving when there is a lack of repentance. Now that doesn’t mean that you should hold any bitterness in your heart. There is never a place for that, but where there is no repentance, there is no public forgiveness.

Some people would say, how dare you remove someone from membership in the church? What right do you have to do that? We’ll look at that right in just a moment in verses 18-20 but stop and think a minute. Our church has church covenant which all members sign when they join. We commit ourselves to living a godly life in fellowship with each other in the church. If a person does not desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus, then why join? Joining certainly won’t get you into heaven! And if a person no longer desires to live a godly life in Christ Jesus, then why remain in membership? That’s what membership means!

Removal from membership and withdrawal from the body is a serious step and should not be taken until all the other steps have been taken carefully, prayerfully and in order. I think the toughest part is the withdrawing of Christian fellowship. But scripture is unavoidable on this point.

Note that it is not non-believers we are to withdraw from, but those who claim to be Christians but are living a sinful lifestyle. We read in 1 Corinthians 5:9-11: “I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people — not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral….. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.” (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)

Why does God tell us to withdraw our fellowship in this manner? Scriptures gives two reasons: it’s for the good of the individual and for the good of the church.

First, we do it for the good of the individual. We read in 2 Thessalonians 3: “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. 15 Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15) The goal is to help bring about the appropriate response in the person, which is repentance for sin.

The other reason is for the good of the church: We looked at 1 Timothy 5:20 earlier which says: “Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.” The direct context is elders, but it certainly applies to the church at large. Church discipline serves as a warning to others in the church to exercise repentance for their sin.

And what do we do if the discipline works? We know what do to when our brother sins. But what about when he repents? Paul says in 2 Corinthians 2: “The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” (2 Corinthians 2:6-8)

You see, there is no bitterness here, no resentment in the heart, but from start to finish the goal has always been restoration and reconciliation. As we saw last week with the parable of the lost sheep, there is great joy when the wandering sheep is restored to the fold!

II. Binding and loosing (18)

We asked the question earlier, what right does the church have to withhold forgiveness from one who is unrepentant? That authority has been granted to the church by none other than Jesus Christ himself. We now come to verse 18 which speaks about binding and loosing. Look at verse 18 with me:

“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 18:18)

   A. Relates to church discipline and forgiveness
      – Matthew 16:19; John 20:23

This whole idea of binding and loosing relates to church discipline and forgiveness. We spoke about the keys of the kingdom back in Matthew 16 where Jesus said something very similar to Peter: “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:19)

Binding and loosing here has to do with the process of forgiving or withholding forgiveness with regards to sin and the process of removing or restoring a brother with regards to church membership. Jesus said something similar to his disciples in John 20:23 when he said: “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” (John 20:23) Jesus is saying that God will approve and confirm in heaven godly decisions made by the church here on earth.

Now does this mean the person has lost their salvation? I don’t believe it’s possible to lose your salvation. Remember what we said last week. God is the good shepherd who always finds his wandering sheep. However, the Bible also does not give any assurance of salvation to the unrepentant person. When we are told to treat the unrepentant person as a non-believer, it’s not merely symbolic. We must face the possibility that the person may not be saved at all. The reason we treat them as an unbeliever is because they may actually be an unbeliever. Only God really knows, although Jesus did say, “By their fruits you will know them.” (Matthew 7:20)

   B. Directed to the church, not individuals (“you” plural)
      – 1 Corinthians 5:4-5; 3 John 9-10

Another important thing to note about verse 18 is that this verse is directed to the church, not to individuals. There are three “you’s” in verse 18 and they are all plural. To whom is this power given? Not to Peter as the pope or to the pastor as an individual, but rather to the church and its appointed leaders. That’s why when Paul instructs the Corinthians about removing someone from their church, he says to do it “when you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus.” (1 Corinthians 5:4-5)

This protects the church from ungodly pastors and loose cannons. For example, we read in 3 John about Diotrephes who loved to be first and apparently also loved to put people out of the church. (3 John 9-10)

III. Agreeing in prayer (19-20)

And so, Jesus gives the church the right to accept and remove people from membership, but this right must be tempered with prayer, the church seeking God’s will together in prayer and in the presence and name of Jesus Christ This brings us to verses 19-20 in our text where Jesus talks about agreeing in prayer:

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19-20)

   A. General principle: praying together in Jesus’ name
      – John 16:23-24

There is both a general principle here and a specific application. The general principle has to do with praying together in Jesus’ name. Verse 19 seems at first glance to be an automatic “gimmee” – just find one other person to agree with you about anything and God has to do it. But those who love and worship God know that prayer is much more wonderful and meaningful than that. Prayer is not some giant, celestial vending machine.

Notice the gathering and the prayer are in his name. Jesus says something similar in John 16: “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name…. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16:23-24) And so, this is not a magic formula, but rather we gather in his presence, under his authority, seeking his will and his ways. Even among the smallest gathering Jesus is present in their midst, and the church is in some sense gathered.

   B. Specific application: whole process of church discipline

Now, we take the general statements Jesus makes about prayer, and we apply them to the church’s removal of a member. All church discipline must be done in an attitude of humility and prayer, under Christ’s authority and seeking his will in the matter. Then and only then will God bind in heaven what has been bound on earth, and loose in heaven what has been loosed on earth.

CONCLUSION: Let me close with five words of specific application this morning.

1) Love. Love your brothers and sisters in Christ. Love them enough to care about their sin

2) Desire purity in the church. Remember, we are bride of Christ! He is coming back for us! He gave himself to purify us! That’s one of the reasons we practice discipline in the church.

3) Follow God’s instructions. Do not spread rumors, slander or gossip. Go to the person first, and then take the other steps as needed. But do this with a gentle spirit, with a spirit of love and humility.

4) Keep your own heart soft and repentant towards God. If someone approaches you about your sin, repent and be reconciled. If we all did this, there would never be any need to go to step two.

5) Do not rest in a false assurance of salvation if you are unrepentant of sin in your life. God approves in heaven those decisions made under his authority by the church on earth. Don’t take unrepentant sin lightly. When you refuse to repent, that is a strong indication that you may not be saved. That’s why the church is to withhold forgiveness when there is no repentance. Although as we will see next week, we are to exercise unlimited forgiveness when there is repentance.

God seeks the wanderer, and so should we. We should seek to restore the wandering believer who has sinned against us by following the process Jesus laid out for us. If we don’t follow the process, we may actually do more harm than good. But when we follow the process Jesus gave us, we give the wanderer the very best opportunity to repent and be restored to fellowship. No sheep left behind! God seeks the wanderer, and so should we.

© Ray Fowler

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