Nuke fluke. “A B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear warheads and flown for more than three hours across several states last week . . . The missiles, which are being decommissioned, were mounted onto pylons on the bomber’s wings and it is unclear why the warheads had not been removed beforehand.” That’s a little scary.

Don’t say can’t. Can’t say don’t. A Siberian mayor has banned his staff from using the phrases “I don’t know” and “I can’t.” Those who do not comply risk losing their jobs. I don’t know. I can’t say this is a great idea.

You’re never too old. Meet Olive Riley, the world’s oldest blogger. Olive was born in 1899 and blogs from her native country of Australia. Her blog is called The Life of Riley. At 107 years old, I am sure she has plenty of stories to share.

Return trip. A burglar in New Zealand broke into a family’s home through a window, stole some electronics and a credit card, and then came back later the same day to return the stolen goods – along with the new items he had purchased with the stolen credit card. He left everything on the kitchen table along with an apology note and a promise to drop off some cash later to pay for the broken window.

Grade inflation. Honors journalism students in Naples, FL are graded not only on how well they write, but on how many ads they sell for the high school yearbook. The syllabus says $600 will get you an A, $500 will get you a B, $400 gets a C, $300 gets a D and less than $300 worth of ads sold will earn a student an F on the assignment. Does anyone else think this is a bad idea?

Dog heir. Hotel operator and real estate investor Leona Helmsley, who died August 20, 2007, left $12 million dollars to her dog. The article doesn’t say who gets the money when the dog dies.

A whole lot of nothing. “University of Minnesota astronomers have found an enormous hole in the Universe, nearly a billion light-years across, empty of both normal matter such as stars, galaxies and gas, as well as the mysterious, unseen ‘dark matter.’ While earlier studies have shown holes, or voids, in the large-scale structure of the Universe, this new discovery dwarfs them all.”

Red on the way out? National Geographic magazine reports that redheads are becoming rarer and could be extinct in 100 years. Best chance to preserve redheadedness? Move to Scotland where an estimated 40 per cent of Scots carry the red gene and 13 per cent actually have red hair.

Rumor police. Police in east China have arrested or warned 60 people for spreading rumors or threats through text messages and the Internet since the beginning of the year. “Rumors spread by modern means of communication can be a greater menace to society than those spread by word of mouth,” said Xia Cunxi, spokesman of the Jiangsu Provincial Public Security Department. If they arrested people in the United States for spreading internet rumors, half of us would be in jail.

You can’t do that. China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. The Bible does not teach reincarnation, but pretending reincarnation was real, how exactly would they enforce this ruling?

Long shot. A bullet fired from a police gun range hit a military veteran as he stood outside a car dealership almost a mile away. “It felt like someone hit me with a ball bat or like a bird struck me in the side,” said Bill Bolechala, who had served 24 years in the military including a stint in Vietnam without being wounded.

Sour grapes. A Michigan woman was fined $250 after throwing grapes at school board members following a contoversial vote. Apparently the vote didn’t go her way.

Back to school. A 94-year-old Australian woman has become the world’s oldest person to earn a university master’s degree. Phyllis Turner began studying for her postgraduate degree at age 90 and received her Medical Science Master’s Degree from Australia’s Adelaide University earlier this summer. The great-great-grandmother completed her research paper on the anthropological history of Australia prior to European settlement. Degree supervisor Professor Maciej Henneberg said, “She has a lively mind.”

Tough crowd. A new Gallup Poll finds Congress’ approval rating the lowest it has been since Gallup first tracked public opinion of Congress with this measure in 1974. Just 18% of Americans approve of the job Congress is doing, while 76% disapprove, according to the August 13-16, 2007, Gallup Poll.

Fail safe. Last week 10-year-old Daniel Jancura accidentally locked himself inside a safe on display at Sam’s Club. It took firefighters and store employees fifteen minutes to get him out. This week a 73-year-old woman was trapped in a bank after employees accidentally locked her in the building while she was looking over the contents of her safe deposit box. She was discovered unconscious by a cleaning person six hours later. So, remind me, why do we call these things “safe?”

Keep the change (1). Thieves in Arkansas stole a two-ton vault containing $113,000 from a bank using a fork lift, then ditched it several miles north of the city — with $2 left inside. “We feel like that was a statement to mock us,” said Van Buren police Detective Keith Lindley.

Don’t rock the boat. Chinese police tracking a suspicious vessel on a border river in southwest China got a shock when they found 270 crocodiles on board. Apparently crocodile smuggling is big in China.

Spy squirrels. Fourteen squirrels have been accused of spying on Iran. According to the Islamic Republic News Agency, the undercover rodents were found near the Iranian border, supposedly equipped with eavesdropping devices. I wonder if it was these squirrels here?

Keep the change (2). Jessica Osborne, a Pizza Hut waitress in Indiana, got a $10,000 tip from a family who ate regularly at the restaurant. The family gave her the check because they heard that she could not afford college.

Same time next year. A teacher from Toronto flew thousands of miles across the Atlantic to Wales to attend his friend’s wedding, only to discover he had arrived one year early. He had received an email from his friend earlier in the year saying the wedding was July 6th and assumed he meant 2007. The flight cost him $1,015.

Help! Police! A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 to report that he was surrounded by police officers and needed help. He was charged with misdemeanor misuse of 911.

When it’s over . . . The White Stripes played the shortest concert ever on Monday, July 16 in St. John’s, Canada. The musical duo played a single note (a C-sharp) before hundreds of adoring fans. I have always heard that the secret to a good show is leaving the audience wanting more. (HT: Challies)

Speed trap. The Union Leader reports that an 88-year old woman was pulled over in Manchester, NH for going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone. I don’t know, maybe she’s dyslexic?

High chair. Oregon gas station owner Kent Couch traveled 193 miles at heights of up to 13,000 feet in a lawnchair suspended by 105 helium balloons. He was airborn for nearly 9 hours and did not have a seatbelt.

Wrong number. College student Shira Barlow in Los Angeles, California is getting deluged with calls from high profile strangers and foreigners after being issued Paris Hilton’s old cell phone number. I wonder who would call if you got Usama Bin Laden’s old cell number?

Gator golf. An 11-foot, one-eyed alligator grabbed a Florida golfer by the arm while he was retrieving his ball from a pond on the sixth hole. The golfer was taken to the hospital but not seriously injured. The pond has a “Beware of Alligator” sign posted. That’s what I call a water hazard.

Wrong pocket. A pickpocket got more than he bargained for when he tried to pick the pocket of 72-year old Bill Barnes of Walker, Michigan. Barnes is a former marine and Golden Gloves boxer who is retired after 20 years as an iron worker. When Barnes felt the hand in his pocket, he grabbed the pickpocket’s wrist and started throwing punches. The store manager also helped, and together they subdued the pickpocket until police arrived.

Surplus hearts. “Nearly 500,000 Purple Heart medals were manufactured in anticipation of the casualties resulting from the invasion of Japan. To the present date, all the American military casualties of the sixty years following the end of World War II — including the Korean and Vietnam Wars — have not exceeded that number. In 2003, there were still 120,000 of these Purple Heart medals in stock. There are so many in surplus that combat units in Iraq and Afghanistan are able to keep Purple Hearts on-hand for immediate award to wounded soldiers on the field.” (Wikipedia: Operation Downfall)

World’s ugliest dog. Meet Elwood, the world’s ugliest dog. The 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix, who placed second in last year’s contest, was crowned the world’s ugliest dog on Friday, June 22. Elwood is also known for his uncanny resemblance to aliens Yoda and ET. “I think he’s the cutest thing that ever lived,” said Elwood’s owner, Karen Quigley. Really? Then why did you enter him in the world’s ugliest dog contest?

Global cooling. From the Canadian Financial Post: “Solar scientists predict that, by 2020, the sun will be starting into its weakest Schwabe solar cycle of the past two centuries, likely leading to unusually cool conditions on Earth. Beginning to plan for adaptation to such a cool period, one which may continue well beyond one 11-year cycle, as did the Little Ice Age, should be a priority for governments.” Maybe it’s supposed to get hotter before it gets colder? (HT: Instapundit)

Pastor-comedian wanted. A newly forming church in Edmond, OK is looking for a pastor-comedian. “The idea is to use humor and comedy to bring people to Christ. With the right Pastor we plan on becoming a rapidly growing mega church soon. We are thinking the church will be called Comedy Hour and be open Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday mornings.” The only qualification listed under job requirements is “must be very funny.” No, I am not applying.

Space baby monitor. Natalie Meilinger’s baby monitor is acting strangely. Instead of monitoring her children, the baby monitor is picking up live video from inside NASA’s space shuttle Atlantis. The mother of two is fascinated with the video feed. “I’ve been addicted to it and keep waiting to see what’s next,” Meilinger said.

World wide web. More than 1.1 billion of the world’s estimated 6.6 billion people are now online. Nearly 300 million people, almost a third of those online, access the internet on high-speed lines. The US has the most broadband users with more than 60 million subscribers. China is in second place with with more than 56 million and quickly closing the gap. South Korea has the world’s greatest percentage of broadband users with nearly 90% of households online. Internet usage in developing countries, especially in Africa, lags behind the rest of the world. Many of these emerging economies lack basic telephone service, never mind access to the internet.

New world. A 65-year-old Polish man has woken up from a 19-year coma. Former railway worker Janek Grzebski fell asleep in a Poland under Communist rule in 1988 and woke up 19 years later to a whole new world. His wife, who fed and cared for him during this time, never gave up hope that her husband would one day recover.

Speed chair. A 21-year-old man in a wheelchair got the ride of his life when he was pushed down the highway by a semi truck at a speed of 50 mph. He had pulled his wheelchair in front of the truck at a gas station, and the handles got stuck in the front grille. The truck driver had no idea that the chair and rider were there until he was pulled over by the police four miles later. The man in the wheelchair was unharmed, but he did spill his soda.

Speeders repent! One Utah minister is taking on speeders and calling them sinners. Police received complaints about minister Alfred Pehl jumping in front of fast cars in his neighborhood, sticking brooms in their way and backing his own car in front of other drivers. Pehl was ticketed for disorderly conduct.