On the way out of the nursing home where I preach twice a month, one of the elderly ladies asked me, “Are you a pastor or a normal person?” Sometimes I wonder that myself!

Check out the latest posts at the dullest blog in the world:

• Tidying some pencils (March 16, 2006)
  Some pencils were scattered around on my desk. I picked them up one by one. I placed the pencils in the drawer which I use to store pencils.
• Opening a cupboard door (October 17, 2005)
  There was a cupboard in the corner of the room. I reached out my hand and gripped the door handle. I pulled the door towards me, thereby opening the cupboard.
• Standing in the middle of the room (April 21, 2005)
  I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments.
• Scratching my knee (September 10, 2004)
  My knee had a slight itch. I reached out my hand and scratched the knee in question. The itch was relieved and I was able to continue with my activities.
• Moving an item from one place to another (July 21, 2004)
  There was an object occupying a space on my table. Using my hand I picked up the item from its place. Having considered my options for a moment I placed the object on a different area of the table.

Read more thrilling entries like these over at Dave Walker’s The Dullest Blog in the World. Be sure to check out Dave’s more “serious” site too at CartoonChurch.com.

You know it’s Monday when …

the tag says, “No turkeys were destroyed to make this product.”

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Check out these neat Star Wars pumpkins. Now that’s some fancy carving. I like the Death Star one the best. (Click on the image for a larger picture.)

Do you need a lightsaber to carve a pumpkin like that? Visit Wired.com to see more Star Wars pumpkins, including R2-D2, C-3PO, General Grievous and Chewbacca! (HT: Verum Serum)

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Related posts:

• Yoda Promotes Small Groups
• Tim Keller and Darth Vader
• Darth Vader Plays a Mean Harmonica
• Jedi Squirrels
• George Lucas Syndrome

Just in case you were wondering.

(Video length: 1:50)

HT: Steve Weaver

Happy Reformation Day! Also, be sure to check out the Reformation Day Symposium at Challies.com.

And for those of you who need a break from politics, here’s this:

            German Police Seek Speeding British Muppet

Looks like Animal to me.

I am not a big Simpson’s fan, but I thought this was pretty funny.

(Video length: 1:20)

(HT: Althouse)

This reminds me of a hilarious interactive online “ballot” during the 2000 Bush/Gore election. It was basically a flash animation with a picture of Bush on the right and a picture of Gore on the left. The instructions said to click on the one you wanted for president. If you clicked on Gore’s face, you got Gore. But if you moused over Bush’s face to click on him, the faces would switch places. So then you would mouse over to Bush on the left to click on him, but the faces would shift again. If you tried too many times, both faces turned into Al Gore. There was no possible way to vote for Bush.

I have looked for it online since, but have never been able to find it again. Does anyone remember this or know where to find it online today?

By the way, I was living in Fort Lauderdale, FL in 2000, home of the hanging chads and butterfly ballots. There were a lot of funny things posted online at that time about the election. There must be a collection of it all online somewhere. Again, does anyone know where?

Are you having trouble promoting small groups (home groups, growth groups, life groups, etc.) in your church? Perhaps Yoda can help. In this video Yoda shares about his first experience at a small group. May the Force be with you!

(Video length: 1:39)

“Who wants some Cheetos?” (Mace Windu)

Related posts:

• Star Wars Pumpkins
• Tim Keller and Darth Vader
• Darth Vader Plays a Mean Harmonica
• Jedi Squirrels
• George Lucas Syndrome

Veggie Tales is celebrating its 15 year anniversary. Our children range in age from 12-17 so, as you can probably guess, Veggie Tales have been a big part of our house over the past 15 years. Here are my two favorite Silly Songs with Larry (the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song).

I Love my Lips! (Video length: 3:22)

“My friends all laughed and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip, and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the fifth week because both of our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip — OOSTA!” (Larry the Cucumber)

The Dance of the Cucumber (Video length: 3:17)

HT: Big Idea

I first heard this fun, frolicking, alliterative version of “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” back in the 1980’s when Jack Hayford read it out loud on his radio program. I was living in California at the time and really enjoyed Hayford’s preaching. I happened to tape the show and wrote the words down later. With Tim Keller’s new book about to be released (The Prodigal God), I thought it would be fun to unfurl it here. Be sure to read it out loud for maximum effect!

MELODY IN F – Author unknown (possibly Phil Kerr – see comments below)

Feeling footloose and frisky, a feather-brained fellow forced his fond father to fork over the farthings, and flew far to foreign fields and frittered his fortune feasting fabulously with faithless friends.

Fleeced by his fellows in folly, and facing famine, he found himself a feed flinger in a filthy farmyard. Fairly famishing, he fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments. “Fooey, my father’s flunkies fare far finer,” the frazzled fugitive forlornly fumbled, frankly facing facts.

Frustrated by failure, and filled with foreboding, he fled forthwith to his family. Falling at his father’s feet, he forlornly fumbled, “Father, I’ve flunked, and fruitlessly forfeited family favor.” The far-sighted father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged the flunkies to fetch a fatling from the flock and fix a feast.

The fugitive’s fault-finding brother frowned on fickle forgiveness of former folderol. But the faithful father figured, “Filial fidelity is fine, but the fugitive is found! What forbids fervent festivity? Let flags be un-furled! Let fanfares flare!” Father’s forgiveness formed the foundation for the former fugitive’s future fortitude.

Note: See Luke 15:11-32 for the original version.

Related post: Parable of the Prodigal Puppy

You know it’s Monday when …

your trick-or-treat sack is filled with things that are good for you.

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Click on a month for more Garfield Mondays:  January, February, March,
    April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Click here for Real Life Garfield.
Click here for Garfield Monday Extra.

Check back the first Monday of each month for more Garfield Mondays.

I am teaching my oldest son church history this year, so I just had to put this one up. (Perhaps he can use it to study for his final.) I am not sure whether they should call it the Modern Church Historical or the Modern Church Hysterical!

(Video length: 2:34)

Parody of Gilbert & Sullivan’s Modern Major General covering the entire history of the church. From Paul Aldrich Comedy. (HT: MMI)