Crosswalk has a great story about a pastor who tried to resign, but the Lord had other plans.

Under the stress of the church situation — every church has its situation — the pastor felt he had taken all he could stand. So, he sat down and wrote a letter to every member of his congregation. He didn’t exactly resign, but came close to it. “Perhaps my work here is finished,” he confessed.

He printed out the letter and, against her better judgement, his wife helped him stuff the envelopes and apply the stamps. He dropped them off at the post office and drove home … and that was that. Or so he thought.

The next day, every single one of those letters was back in his mail box. The cost of postage had gone up that week and he had not put enough stamps on them.

The pastor stood there glaring at all those returned letters and recognized God had sent him a message. “It ain’t funny, Lord,” he called out, just before breaking into laughter.

HT: MMI

World’s ugliest dog. Meet Elwood, the world’s ugliest dog. The 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix, who placed second in last year’s contest, was crowned the world’s ugliest dog on Friday, June 22. Elwood is also known for his uncanny resemblance to aliens Yoda and ET. “I think he’s the cutest thing that ever lived,” said Elwood’s owner, Karen Quigley. Really? Then why did you enter him in the world’s ugliest dog contest?

Global cooling. From the Canadian Financial Post: “Solar scientists predict that, by 2020, the sun will be starting into its weakest Schwabe solar cycle of the past two centuries, likely leading to unusually cool conditions on Earth. Beginning to plan for adaptation to such a cool period, one which may continue well beyond one 11-year cycle, as did the Little Ice Age, should be a priority for governments.” Maybe it’s supposed to get hotter before it gets colder? (HT: Instapundit)

Pastor-comedian wanted. A newly forming church in Edmond, OK is looking for a pastor-comedian. “The idea is to use humor and comedy to bring people to Christ. With the right Pastor we plan on becoming a rapidly growing mega church soon. We are thinking the church will be called Comedy Hour and be open Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday mornings.” The only qualification listed under job requirements is “must be very funny.” No, I am not applying.

Here are four ways on how to get rid of your pastor (from Richard W. De Haan, Your Pastor and You):

1. Say “Amen!” once in a while, and he’ll preach himself to death.
2. Encourage him and brag on his work, and he’ll probably work himself to death.
3. Offer to help out with the ministry of the church and request the name of a person with whom you could go share the Gospel – your pastor just might die of heart failure.
4. Get the church to unite in prayer for the preacher, and he’ll soon become so effective that a larger church will take him off your hands.

DeHaan concludes the list by saying: “If we terminated more apathy and fewer pastors, we would see greater results.”

Okay, everyone. You’ve read the list. Now go get rid of your pastor!

Related post: You Might Be a Pastor If …

As a fellow pastor, I got a chuckle out of Mark Roberts’ blog this morning. He mentions going to the Open House at his daughter’s school last night and seeing an oversized “No Whining” badge hanging on the wall.

How great! I wish I had a few of these, both to wear and to hand out to others. Yes, sometimes even I need to be reminded not to whine.

But now I’ve got to stop blogging and get back to finishing my sermon for this weekend. I always have to do a sermon. My church maaaakes me. It isn’t fair. Nobody else at church has to do a serrrmon. And they want a good one too. Every week. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Okay pastors, you’ve heard your word for today. Quit your whining and get back to your sermons – and I’ll get back to mine!