“When I was 19, I decided I’d be honest and stop saying I was a Christian.” (Abraham Piper)

One of the most painful experiences for a Christian parent is when a child goes through a time of rebellion. If you are going through this as a parent right now, I pray you will find encouragement as John and Abraham Piper both share about Abraham’s season of rebellion in the September 2007 issue of Decision magazine.

John Piper:

My main memory of Abraham’s prodigal years is tears. As I knelt in prayer, I would remember the 9-year-old Abraham walking with me to 6:30 a.m. winter prayer meetings—willingly. I would take hold of Jesus’ cloak and cry: “O Jesus, please, don’t let go of him.”

He was never more than a breath away. One moment I would be rejoicing over some simple blessing, and then suddenly he was there, a heaviness, an ache. I would wonder what he was doing. And I would pour another prayer into the great censer before the throne …

All the while God was making me a broken-hearted pastor. God loves His people through the pain of His shepherds. None of our sufferings is wasted. We do not graduate from the seminary of sorrows in this life. But oh, how glad I am that this class is over, and Abraham is home. Thank You, Jesus, for not letting go.

Abraham Piper:

Looking back on my years of rejecting Christ, I offer these suggestions to help you reach out to your wayward child …

1. Point them to Christ. Your rebellious child’s real problem is not drugs or sex or cigarettes … The real problem is that your child doesn’t see Jesus clearly …
2. Pray. Only God can save your children, so keep on asking Him to display Himself to them …
3. Acknowledge that something is wrong. When your daughter rejects Jesus, don’t pretend that everything is fine …
4. Don’t expect them to be Christlike. If your son is not a Christian, he won’t act like one, and it’s hypocrisy if he does …
5. Welcome them home. Because your deepest concern is your son’s heart, not his actions, don’t create too many requirements for coming home …
6. Plead with them more than you rebuke them. … Her conscience can condemn her by itself. Your role is to stand kindly and firmly, always living in the hope that you want your child to return to.
7. Connect them to other believers. … Try to keep other Christians in their lives and trust God to connect your son or daughter with a believer who can point out your child’s folly without getting the door slammed on them.
8. Respect their friends. … Be hospitable. Her friends are someone else’s wayward children, and they need Jesus, too.
9. E-mail them. When you read something in the Bible that encourages you and helps you love Jesus more, write it up in a couple of lines and send it to your child …
10. Take them to lunch. … It may almost feel hypocritical to talk about his daily life, since what you really care about is his eternal life, but be sure to do it anyway. He needs to know you care about all of him …
11. Take an interest in their pursuits. Odds are that if your daughter is purposefully rejecting Christ, then the way she spends her time will disappoint you. Nevertheless, find the value in her interests, if possible, and encourage her …
12. Point them to Christ. … The goal is not that they will be good kids again … The goal is not for you to stop being embarrassed at your weekly Bible study … The only ultimate reason to pray for them, welcome them, plead with them, eat with them, or take an interest in their interests is so that their eyes will be opened to Jesus Christ.

Be sure to read the whole article at Decision Magazine. You may also be interested in reading Tullian Tchividjian’s comments on how his grandparents, Billy and Ruth Graham, ministered to him during his years of rebellion as a teen.

HT: CROSS-eyed

Here are ten great Bible verses for World Kindness Day (a day to practice random acts of kindness).

1. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” (Proverbs 12:25)
2. “He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done.” (Proverbs 19:17)
3. This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24)
4. “[God] has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.” (Acts 14:17)
5. “God’s kindness leads you toward repentance.” (Romans 2:4)
6. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
7. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
8. “… the incomparable riches of [God's] grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:7)
9. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Epehsians 4:32)
10. “When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior.” (Titus 3:4-6)

Recommended Books on Kindness:

From George MacDonald: An Anthology (p. 113; edited by C.S. Lewis):

“There is nothing so deadening to the divine as an habitual dealing with the outsides of holy things.” – George MacDonald

The following is excerpted from a beautifully written article by James Russell Miller on living in such a way that “our old age, when it comes, shall be beautiful and happy.” Miller was a Presbyterian pastor who lived from 1840-1912 and who pastored churches in Pennsylvania and Illinois.

How can we so live that our old age, when it comes, shall be beautiful and happy? It will not do to adjourn this question until the evening shadows are upon us. It will be too late then to consider it. Consciously or unconsciously, we are every day helping to settle the question whether our old age shall be sweet and peaceful or bitter and wretched. It is worth our while, then, to think a little how to make sure of a happy old age.

1. We must live a useful life. The fruit of an idle life is never joy and peace. Years lived selfishly never become garden-spots in the field of memory. Happiness comes out of self-denial for the good of others. Sweet always are the memories of good deeds done and sacrifices made. Their incense, like heavenly perfume, comes floating up from the fields of toil and fills old age with holy fragrance. When one has lived to bless others, one has many grateful, loving friends whose affection proves a wondrous source of joy when the days of feebleness come. Bread cast upon the waters is found again after many days.
2. We must seek to make to ourselves loyal and faithful friends in the busy hours that come before. This we can do by a ministry of kindness and self-forgetfulness. This was part at least of what our Lord meant in that counsel which falls so strangely on our ears until we understand it: “Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness, that when you fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.”
3. Again, we must live a pure and holy life. Sin may seem pleasant to us now, but we must not forget how it will appear when we get past it and turn to look back upon it; especially must we keep in mind how it will seem from a dying pillow. Nothing brings such pure peace and quiet joy at the close as a well-lived past. We are every day laying up the food on which we must feed in the closing years. We are hanging up pictures about the walls of our hearts that we shall have to look at when we sit in the shadows. How important that we live pure and holy lives! Even forgiven sins will mar the peace of old age, for the ugly scars will remain.

Summing all up in one word, only Christ can make any life, young or old, truly beautiful or truly happy. Only He can cure the heart’s restless fever and give quietness and calmness. Only He can purify that sinful fountain within us, our corrupt nature, and make us holy. To have a peaceful and blessed ending to life, we must live it with Christ . . . For such a life death has no terrors. The tokens of its approach are but “the land-birds lighting on the shrouds, telling the weary mariner that he is nearing the haven.” The end is but the touching of the weather-beaten keel on the shore of glory.

You can read the full article at Challies.com (By the way, if you don’t read Tim Challies, you really ought to!)

Justin Taylor at Between Two Worlds has a nice interview with Tullian Tchividjian today. Tullian is the pastor of New City Church in Coconut Creek, Florida, not far from Plantation Community Church where I used to serve. He is the author of a new book on assurance called Do I Know God? and the grandson of Ruth and Billy Graham.

Tullian went through a season of rebellion in his teen years, and Justin asked him if Billy had said anything in particular to him during his time away from the Lord. I appreciated Tullian’s answer and the wisdom and love demonstrated by his family during those difficult years.

Interestingly, because my grandparents knew that my parents had laid such a solid foundation, teaching me the Gospel from the time I was born, they never preached to me during my wilderness wanderings; they never sat me down and gave me a lecture. They always told me they were praying for me, that they believed God had his hand on me, and that if I ever needed anything, not to hesitate to let them know. Their unconditional love for me during that time was stunning. In fact, from a human perspective, one of the tools God used to bring me to himself was the attractiveness of my grandparents (and parents) unconditional love. Because of my upbringing, I had always known the content of the Gospel but it was the “preaching of the Gospel without words” through my parents and grandparents which helped me to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

Be sure to visit Justin’s blog for the rest of the interview.

Update: Tullian’s mother shares about the prodigal years from a mother’s perspective. Click here for the article by Gigi Graham Tchividjian.

Related posts:

• Congratulations Coral Ridge, New City and Tullian!
• Father and Son Share about the Prodigal Years (Abraham and John Piper)

Most nights I spend some time with my three sons reading the Bible and praying together. We have done this ever since they were toddlers, and they are now ages 15, 13 and 10. We usually pick a book of the Bible and read it through a section at a time, and then discuss any questions on it. Right now we are reading through the book of Job.

We tried something different this past spring and took a couple months to memorize a chapter of the Bible together instead. We chose James chapter 1. We took it one verse at a time, memorizing the verse and then discussing it together. The next night we would review the verses we had learned and then learn a new verse. If we had been really disciplined at it, I guess we would have finished in 27 days, seeing as there are only 27 verses in James 1. But between nights missed and extra review nights thrown in, it took us a couple months.

The important thing is we kept at it, and all three boys eventually were able to recite James chapter 1 from memory. We also talked about the importance of meditating or reflecting on God’s Word throughout the day. This is really the whole reason to memorize Scripture anyways — that we might store it up in our minds and our hearts and allow God to change us by his Word.

The method we used for memorizing is called the “stacking” method. This is the method taught by Janet Pope in her excellent book, His Word in My Heart: Memorizing Scripture for a Closer Walk with God. You can read more about the stacking method at Lifehack, or you can read John Place’s story of how he used the stacking method to memorize 7 chapters of his psychology textbook, over 23,000 words, when he was in college. Andrew Davis also gives a good explanation and guide in his article: An Approach to Extended Memorization of Scripture.

People are using the stacking method to memorize all sorts of things. What could be more important than memorizing God’s Word and treasuring it in our hearts?

Update: Later we went back and re-memorized this chapter using the first-letter method. Actually, the stacking method and first-letter method work really well together. You can learn more about the first letter method in The Bible Memory Version: A Tool for Treasuring God’s Word in Your Heart.

Charles Drew is the author of A Journey Worth Taking, a book about work and calling and finding your purpose in this world. Here are some wise words from Drew about worshiping God while working in a fallen world:

It is not always easy to worship while we work. Thanks to the fall, there is no job—whether it is raising children, running a bank, or working as a carpenter—that does not have its dreariness. Nevertheless, God made us for work, Jesus is present with us in our work, and Jesus will one day completely fix work. For these reasons, we should seek occasions to thank God for and in our work.

He then goes on to give these 5 reasons why we can be thankful to God for and in our work:

1. Simply to be given something to do that brings order into our life is cause for thanks. If we get paid for it, all the better.
2. Work often presents us with people to love—and this is good for us (especially when it is hard).
3. There are, or course, those occasional jobs (or occasional tasks within a particular job) that we actually enjoy doing—for which it is only right to worship God.
4. Then there is the recollection of how much worse work might be for us if we lived at a different time or under different circumstances—a recollection that should train our faith to see the hand of the Redeemer at work, and to thank him.
5. Finally, there is the promise of consummation—of a coming world in which all toil will finally be taken from our work—and for this hope we worship God (especially when we are acutely aware of the toil in what we are presently doing).

Don’t take my word for it – read Joe’s article yourself! Here is an excerpt:

How can I be a Christian for over three decades (since the age of six) and still be such a jerk? The only response I can give is that if I wasn’t a Christian I’d be much, much worse. As Evelyn Waugh–another Christian who recognized he was a nasty chap–once said, “If not for my faith I would be barely human.”

While true, that answer seems a bit of a cop-out. I don’t like being a jerk and I don’t like making excuses for my nasty behavior. So I attempt to be nicer, more likable. I pretend to be genial and gregarious in the hope that I’ll eventually become less of a jerk.

But it doesn’t work. The more I pose and pretend that I’m something I’m not, the more I appear to be a hypocritical jerk.

The main problem is that I go about it all wrong. Instead of trying to be more likable I should focus on being more loving.

He follows with a great quote from C. S. Lewis on the difference between loving our neighbors and liking or affection.

I can relate to Joe’s post. Give me enough time and exposure, and I will be sure to let you down. Do you ever feel like you’re a jerk, that it is just a matter of time until people discover the real you? Thank God for his grace, and pray for other people’s!

Are you a minister? You may be a minister and not even know it! Marcus Goodyear has a great article over at The High Calling on how we all fulfill the role of ministers when we serve others by doing what God asks us to do, whether in the church, the workplace, at home, or any other sphere of life.

In the article Marcus reflects on Jesus’ miracle of turning the water into wine at the wedding in Cana (found in John 2:1-11).

The ministers in this story are the servants. The people who follow the commands of Jesus by fetching the water he has told them to fetch—and serving that water to the master of the banquet. It must have seemed like a strange set of commands, but they did what he asked them to do.

That is the role of every minister in and out of the church. When we do what God asks us to do, he works miracles through our work.

And we need to pay close attention to the location of these ministers. They aren’t just obeying God in the temple or the synagogue. The place where people traditionally met to worship and talk about God was not their place of ministry. Their place of ministry was their daily work. They were just going about their normal business, and Jesus showed up.

At one church where I served, we had a saying: “Our church has two pastors, but many ministers.” Every Christian is called to serve – not just the pastors. And as Christians we are called to serve God in all areas of our life – not just in church. Your daily setting is your place of ministry throughout the week when you serve God and others in that setting.

So . . . are you a minister?

Bob Kauflin writes about the place of skill at his Worship Matters blog. Although Bob writes primarily to worship leaders, his points here are applicable to skill in any area of life. Here are the main points. You can read the whole article here: Five Things to Remember About Skill.

1. Skill is a gift from God meant for his glory. None of us can claim credit for any ability we possess . . . Our skill is meant to direct people’s eyes to God, not us.
2. Skill has to be developed. [For] four years I practiced an average of four hours a day, seven days a week . . . Sometimes people come up to me and say, “I wish I could play the piano like you do,” My standard reply is, “You can! It just takes a little gifting, and practicing four hours a day for four years.” Skill has to be developed.
3. While God values skill, he doesn’t accept us on the basis of it. So even if I can play complex chord progressions, write songs like Matt Redman, or have a four octave vocal range, I still need the atoning work of the Savior to make my offering of worship acceptable (1 Pet. 2:5).
4. Skill should be evaluated by others. I thank God for feedback I get during rehearsal and after a meeting . . . We need the eyes and ears of those around us. It’s both humbling and helpful to hear back from people we trust who will speak the truth to us.
5. Skill isn’t an end in itself. Skill can easily become our ultimate goal and focus. At that point it often becomes an idol . . . Years ago I read a pastor comment that “God isn’t looking for something brilliant; he’s looking for something broken.” That’s a biblical perspective to keep in mind as we seek to develop our gifts.

I don’t know, it just doesn’t have the same ring as “Evel Knievel.” As a kid I was always enthralled by the daredevil exploits of motorcycle stunt man Robert “Evel” Knievel. I would watch in awe as he fearlessly jumped various obstacles on his motorcycle, sometimes making it and sometimes offering up spectacular wipeouts. And then of course there was his ill-fated attempt at jumping Snake River Canyon on his rocket-powered X-2 Sky-Cycle. (He didn’t make it.)

I had not heard anything about Knievel for years, except for a brief interview I saw with him during a David Blaine stunt special last year. I know, I am still watching stunt shows. What can I say? They say the personality is set by five-years old. So I was pleasantly surprised to read this in Christianity Today:

On Palm Sunday, hundreds responded to Robert “Evel” Knievel’s testimony by asking to be baptized on the spot at Crystal Cathedral. Speaking alongside the Rev. Robert H. Schuller, Knievel told the congregation in Orange County, California, how he had refused for 68 years to accept Jesus Christ as Lord. He believed in God, but he couldn’t walk away from the gold and the gambling and the booze and the women.

(more…)

(This is from a series of posts on the Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conference in Hartford, CT on March 24, 2007. To view the whole series, click here.)

Well, that wraps up the series of posts on the Iron Sharpens Iron conference. I hope this series was helpful – both as a quick review for those who attended the conference, and as an overview for those who were not there.

I got the idea of blogging the conference from Tim Challies who has blogged on a number of conferences at his site. (Tim is a braver man than I, and he even “liveblogs” some of the conferences while they are still going on!) If you enjoyed this series on the Iron Sharpens Iron Conference, I encourage you to check out Tim’s summaries of the various conferences he has attended. Here are the links:

• Desiring God Conference 2006
• Desiring God Conference 2005
• Ligonier Conference 2007
• Resolved 2007
• Shepherd’s Conference 2007
• Shepherd’s Conference 2006
• Together for the Gospel 2006
• WorshipGod06 Conference