1. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
2. I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu.” The headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?”
3. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, “Yes, but not in a row.”
4. Borrow money from pessimists. They don’t expect it back.
5. I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
6. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, “I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.”
7. I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
8. Half the people you know are below average.
9. I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. So I had to buy them again.

Other Posts in the Series:

• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (1)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (2)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (3)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (4)
• Ten Steven Wright Jokes (5)

I noticed earlier this week a sudden jump in people arriving at this site after running Google or other searches for the book of Habakkuk, especially Habakkuk chapter 2. So, I poked around on the web a little and found that the schedule put out by International Sunday School Lessons for this coming Sunday, July 15, 2007, focuses on Habakkuk 2:1-14.

I am not familiar with International Sunday School Lessons and could not find a home page for it anywhere on the web. I am assuming it is similar to a lectionary, except for Sunday School lessons instead of for Sunday morning preaching. Is anyone else familiar with this organization? Is it related to the Standard Lesson Commentary series? If you have any information, please feel free to share it with us in the comments section. Thanks!

Resources on the book of Habakkuk:

And, if you happen to be looking for Habakkuk resources, you can either check out the Blogging with Habakkuk series from earlier this year, or you can access the following messages on Habakkuk found on the Sermons page.

Message series: Habakkuk – The Journey from Doubt to Faith

• Introduction to the book of Habakkuk
• Does God Care? – Habakkuk 1:1-11
• Is God Fair? – Habakkuk 1:12-2:5
• How to Lose It All – Habakkuk 2:6-20
• Is God There? – Habakkuk 3:1-15
• Trusting God No Matter What – Habakkuk 3:16-19

Are you a cycling fan? Check out the Tour de France Live Tracker 2007. Using GPS and other technology, this site tracks the exact position and additional data (heart rate, cadence, speed, power) of the racing cyclists on an interactive map.

HT: Lifehacker

Here is a great quote by Tony Dungy from his new book, Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices & Priorities of a Winning Life. Tony lost his 18-year-old son, James, back in 2005.

Why do bad things happen? I don’t know. Why did Jamie die? I don’t know. But I do know that God has the answers, I know he loves me, and I know he has a plan – whether it makes sense to me or not. Rather than asking why, I’m asking what. What can I learn from this? What can I do for God’s glory and to help others?

Tony Dungy is head coach of this year’s Super Bowl winning Indianapolis Colts.

Related articles:

• Tony Dungy No. 1 on NYT Bestsellers List
• Tony Dungy Speaks about the National Day of Prayer

This is a follow-up to last week’s post on the average American work day . Here are two charts on leisure and sports activities from the American Time Use Survey, released by the U.S. Department of Labor – Bureau of Labor Statistics.

The first chart shows the distribution of leisure time on an average day for all Americans age 15 and over. The data include all days of the week and are annual averages for 2005.

The second chart shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities, by youngest and oldest populations. The data include all days of the week and are annual averages for 2005.

Did you notice that watching TV is the biggest time chunk in both graphs and for all ages?

Charles Drew is the author of A Journey Worth Taking, a book about work and calling and finding your purpose in this world. Here are some wise words from Drew about worshiping God while working in a fallen world:

It is not always easy to worship while we work. Thanks to the fall, there is no job—whether it is raising children, running a bank, or working as a carpenter—that does not have its dreariness. Nevertheless, God made us for work, Jesus is present with us in our work, and Jesus will one day completely fix work. For these reasons, we should seek occasions to thank God for and in our work.

He then goes on to give these 5 reasons why we can be thankful to God for and in our work:

1. Simply to be given something to do that brings order into our life is cause for thanks. If we get paid for it, all the better.
2. Work often presents us with people to love—and this is good for us (especially when it is hard).
3. There are, or course, those occasional jobs (or occasional tasks within a particular job) that we actually enjoy doing—for which it is only right to worship God.
4. Then there is the recollection of how much worse work might be for us if we lived at a different time or under different circumstances—a recollection that should train our faith to see the hand of the Redeemer at work, and to thank him.
5. Finally, there is the promise of consummation—of a coming world in which all toil will finally be taken from our work—and for this hope we worship God (especially when we are acutely aware of the toil in what we are presently doing).

The British Museum announced that the cuneiform inscription in a tablet dating from 595 B.C. confirms the existence of a person who until this time was known only through the biblical book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah 39:3 identifies Nebo-Sarsekim as an official of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in 587 B.C. The museum tablet records Nebo-Sarsekim as making a large gift of gold for the temple in Babylon during the same time period.

Irving Finkel, assistant keeper in the Department of the Middle East, said: “A mundane commercial transaction takes its place as a primary witness to one of the turning points in Old Testament history. This is a tablet that deserves to be famous.”

The discovery was made by Michael Jursa, associate professor at the University of Vienna, on a routine research trip to the museum. “It’s very exciting and very surprising,” he said. “Finding something like this tablet, where we see a person mentioned in the Bible making an everyday payment to the temple in Babylon and quoting the exact date, is quite extraordinary.”

Dr. Jursa told The Times that the British Museum tablet was so well preserved that it took him just a couple of minutes to decipher. The tablet was part of a large temple archive excavated in the 1870′s and acquired by the British Museum in 1920. Dr Jursa said: “But no one realised the connection. They didn’t really read it.”

HT: BiblePlaces Blog

Did you know there is only one clock in the whole sanctuary at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, CA? (Grace Community is the church where John MacArthur pastors.) It is built right into the pulpit top, where it is visible only to the preacher.

Now there’s a good idea. Let the preacher watch the clock instead of the congregation. (Who knows? The people might actually prefer it that way!)

Crosswalk has a great story about a pastor who tried to resign, but the Lord had other plans.

Under the stress of the church situation — every church has its situation — the pastor felt he had taken all he could stand. So, he sat down and wrote a letter to every member of his congregation. He didn’t exactly resign, but came close to it. “Perhaps my work here is finished,” he confessed.

He printed out the letter and, against her better judgement, his wife helped him stuff the envelopes and apply the stamps. He dropped them off at the post office and drove home … and that was that. Or so he thought.

The next day, every single one of those letters was back in his mail box. The cost of postage had gone up that week and he had not put enough stamps on them.

The pastor stood there glaring at all those returned letters and recognized God had sent him a message. “It ain’t funny, Lord,” he called out, just before breaking into laughter.

HT: MMI

Speed trap. The Union Leader reports that an 88-year old woman was pulled over in Manchester, NH for going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone. I don’t know, maybe she’s dyslexic?

High chair. Oregon gas station owner Kent Couch traveled 193 miles at heights of up to 13,000 feet in a lawnchair suspended by 105 helium balloons. He was airborn for nearly 9 hours and did not have a seatbelt.

Wrong number. College student Shira Barlow in Los Angeles, California is getting deluged with calls from high profile strangers and foreigners after being issued Paris Hilton’s old cell phone number. I wonder who would call if you got Usama Bin Laden’s old cell number?

Are Mormons Christian? Beliefnet is currently hosting a debate on this question between Albert Mohler (president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) and Mormon novelist Orson Scott Card. Here is an excerpt from Mohler’s most recent exchange with Card.

“Are Mormons ‘Christians’ as defined by traditional Christian orthodoxy?” . . . With the question structured that way, the answer is clear and unassailable – Mormonism is not Christianity.

When the question is framed this way, Mr. Card and I actually agree, as his essay makes clear. In his words, “I am also happy to agree with him [Mohler] that when one compares our understanding of the nature of God and Christ, we categorically disagree with almost every statement in the ‘historic creeds and doctrinal affirmations’ he refers to.”

Mr. Card would prefer that the question be put differently . . . If I were a Mormon I would share that concern and would try to define Christianity in some way other than traditional Christian orthodoxy. The reason is simple – traditional Christian orthodoxy and Mormon theology are utterly incompatible . . .

Mormonism uses the language of Christian theology and makes many references to Christ . . . But Christianity has never been defined in terms of merely thinking well of Jesus. Mormonism claims to affirm the New Testament teachings about Jesus, but actually presents a very different Jesus from the onset. A reading of Mormonism’s authoritative documents makes this clear . . .

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,” as Mormonism is officially known, claims to be the only true church. As stated in the Doctrine and Covenants [1:30], Mormonism is “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth.” According to Mormon teaching, the church was corrupted after the death of the apostles and became the “Church of the Devil.” Mormonism then claims that the true church was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith in the 1820s. This restored church was, Mormon theology claims, given the keys to the kingdom and the authority of the only true priesthood . . .

Mr. Card may complain that traditional Christianity defines the faith in a way that rejects Mormonism. Fair enough. But Mormonism rejects historic Christianity as it makes its own central claim – to be the only true church, restored on earth in the latter days.

You can read the full debate here.

Related post: Should Christians Call Mormonism a Cult?

Yesterday’s message was the twelfth in the Doing Church Together series from the book of 1 Timothy. The message was called, Taking Church to Work, taken from 1 Timothy 6:1-2.

1 Timothy 6:1-2 – 1 All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered. 2 Those who have believing masters are not to show less respect for them because they are brothers. Instead, they are to serve them even better, because those who benefit from their service are believers, and dear to them. These are the things you are to teach and urge on them. (NIV)

The main idea of the message was that we take the same Christian faith we celebrate in gathered worship and live it out in the workplace. Here is a brief recap of the message:

Church is not the worship service. It is not the building. The church is the people of God living out their faith in Christ together. On Sunday mornings we gather to worship God together as the church. Throughout the week we go out into the world to serve God together as the church. And that includes serving God with your work.

How do you take church to work?

1) Worship while you work.

All of life belongs to God, and we should seek to glorify God in all that we do. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This general principle of glorifying God in all that we do is applied specifically to our work in Scripture.

No matter what we are doing we can turn it to worship by offering it to back God in faith and love. This doesn’t mean that we should spend our whole time at work praying with our eyes closed or singing songs of praise out loud. But it means that we invite God into our work, we offer our work to him, and we seek to glorify him in all that we say and do.

2) Witness while you work.

Although Paul is addressing slaves in 1 Timothy 6:1, we can apply the same principles to our working relationships today. And Paul’s instruction here is crystal clear: you should treat your boss with the utmost respect in all that you say and do on the job. This is part of your witness. You represent God and the church before a watching world. If you treat your boss or fellow-workers disrespectfully, they may then speak evil against God and the teachings of Christ.

3) Do good work while you work!

In 1 Timothy 6:2 Paul shifts from unbelieving masters to believing masters. If your boss is a Christian, do not try to take advantage of him because he is a believer. Paul says you should serve believing bosses even better because “those who benefit from your service are believers and dear to you.” The word translated “benefit” in verse 2 is a word that literally means “good work.” As a Christian, you should do your best to produce good, quality work in all that you do.

This is part of your worship. This is part of your witness. And finally, you should do good work while you work because it is the right thing to do. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” God is the ultimate example for us in this. When God created the world, he stopped and evaluated his work, and saw that everything he created was good.

On Sunday mornings we are the church gathered together for worship. But then we go back to our homes and to our places of work for the week. Then we are the church dispersed in the community for service. Let me encourage you to take church to work with you this week. Worship while you work. Witness while you work. Do good work while you work, that God may be glorified in all that you say and do.

Note: To read the complete message, go to the Sermons tab at the top of the blog.